THE GAZETTE
Dispatches from the Registrar's Desk
Read at leisure. Purchase at once.
Institutional commentary, practical guides, and the occasional Latin footnote for readers who prefer their satire in article form before they buy.
Every article ultimately leads back to the catalog, either by design or by exhaustion.
Per Arduum ad Assholum: A Brief Note on the Motto
The Dean's Office explains, at last and with some reluctance, what the institutional motto actually means and how it came to be stitched into our seal, our letterhead, and our disposition.
On the Correct Use of a Digital Ordination
An advisory to the newly ordained. When to invoke the title, when to hold it in reserve, and the single cease-and-desist letter that taught us where the institutional line actually sits.
The Case for the Honorary Doctorate
An argument piece from the Bursar on why certain candidates skip the B.A., M.S., and Ph.D. ladder altogether and go straight to the top shelf. It is not, contrary to rumor, about the money.
Registrar's Field Guide: Gifting a Credential
A practical guide from the Registrar's desk on choosing the recipient, personalizing the certificate, and selecting the moment of presentation. Works for ordinations, full degrees, and honorary conferrals alike.
An Institutional Response to 'Is This Real?'
The most-asked question at the Registrar's desk, handled with institutional deadpan and without further apology. A short essay on what real means, what fictional means, and which of the two the transaction clears as.
The Catalog is Open
Reading is free. Crediting is how you justify being here. The Registrar is in.
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