THE REGISTRAR'S CATALOG
Official Catalog
The shortest route from curiosity to framed paperwork.
Ordinations, degrees, memberships, and private advisement arranged by type so you can move directly to the correct level of institutional nonsense.
Start with the flagship if unsure. The Registrar does, quietly, have a favorite.
- Instant delivery
- 7-day refund
- Digitally signed PDF
- Shareable by the buyer
THE REGISTER OF DEGREES
Degrees
Four tiers, ascending in gravitas, wall presence, and dinner-party usefulness. The B.A. opens politely, the Ph.D. closes harder, and the Honorary Doctorate admits that prestige was always the point. Choose the one that looks most inevitable once framed.
B.A. in Petty Arguments
Master the art of turning any conversation into a debate about nothing.
M.S. in Subtle Shade
Advanced degree in the delicate art of passive-aggressive commentary.
Ph.D. in Weaponized Sarcasm
The highest academic achievement in turning wit into a precision instrument.
Honorary Doctorate of Assholery
For those whose natural talent transcends traditional academic pathways.
BURSAR’S DESK
Before You Proceed
- What format is the certificate?
- A digitally signed PDF on parchment-stock artwork, delivered by email. Suitable for framing, forwarding, and light boasting. Details here.
- Can I customize the name?
- The conferee’s full name is set at checkout. Pseudonyms, titles of dubious origin, and middle initials are all accepted without inquiry.
- Do you offer refunds?
- A seven-day refund window applies to every purchase. Refund policy.