THE REGISTRAR'S CATALOG

Catalog

The shortest route from curiosity to framed paperwork.

Browse Asshole University ordinations, degrees, memberships, consulting, and other institutional nonsense by category.

Start with the flagship if unsure. The Registrar does, quietly, have a favorite.

Happy graduate presenting a diploma folio in a premium campus-studio product scene.

Catalog Trust Points

Instant delivery
7-day refund
Digitally signed PDF
Shareable by the buyer

Before You Proceed

What format is the certificate?

A digitally signed PDF on parchment-stock artwork, delivered by email. Suitable for framing, forwarding, and light boasting.

Can I customize the name?

The conferee's full name is set at checkout. Pseudonyms, titles of dubious origin, and middle initials are all accepted without inquiry.

Do you offer refunds?

A seven-day refund window applies to every purchase.

The product grid and checkout products are managed in the Products tab. This page content manages the surrounding catalog copy.

FROM THE REGISTRAR

The Complete Catalog

Every active credential currently conferred by the university. Entry-level ordinations, framed degrees, recurring memberships, and private advisement for buyers who prefer a heavier hand. Browse by instinct, then let the filter pills do the sorting you were hoping someone else would handle.

START HERE

Not sure where to start?

The Ph.D. in Weaponized Sarcasm ($79) is the clearest first purchase in the catalog: substantial enough to frame, funny enough to gift, and credible enough to become the story people repeat back to you later. Begin there.

View the Flagship