THE REGISTRAR'S CATALOG
Official Catalog
The shortest route from curiosity to framed paperwork.
Ordinations, degrees, memberships, and private advisement arranged by type so you can move directly to the correct level of institutional nonsense.
Start with the flagship if unsure. The Registrar does, quietly, have a favorite.
- Instant delivery
- 7-day refund
- Digitally signed PDF
- Shareable by the buyer
ENTRY RITE
Ordinations
The university's fastest credential and the cleanest first purchase in the catalog. Best suited to gifters, wedding meddlers, and anyone who would like a credential in hand before the conversation loses momentum.
Officially Ordained Asshole - Base
Become an Officially Ordained Asshole with our prestigious digital certificate. Includes downloadable diploma.
Officially Ordained Asshole - Deluxe
The deluxe package includes diploma, 3 achievement badges, and 1-month Inner Circle membership.
Officially Ordained Asshole - Framed
Premium digital package with gold foil effects and custom frame options.
BURSAR’S DESK
Before You Proceed
- What format is the certificate?
- A digitally signed PDF on parchment-stock artwork, delivered by email. Suitable for framing, forwarding, and light boasting. Details here.
- Can I customize the name?
- The conferee’s full name is set at checkout. Pseudonyms, titles of dubious origin, and middle initials are all accepted without inquiry.
- Do you offer refunds?
- A seven-day refund window applies to every purchase. Refund policy.