A Brief Note From the Registrar
Correspondence arriving at this office receives, as a matter of policy, a civil acknowledgment and, where the matter is within remit, a considered reply. The Registrar wishes it understood that she is not unkind. She is, on most days, only tired, which is a different thing and, in her own view, the more defensible.
Kindly keep inquiries legible, brief, and relevant to something we actually sell.
Electronic Post
The preferred medium for the present century. General questions, support, and order issues should begin here.
General Inquiries
registrar@asshole-u.watchersociety.com
Office of the Dean
Reserved for matters the Dean is willing to entertain, of which there are fewer each year.
Postal Address
The Registrar's Desk
Office of Matriculation
Asshole University
PO Box 1823
North Quadrangle, New Cambridge
Verification Requests
Third parties wishing to verify a certificate should proceed directly to the public verification desk. The process is self-serve and requires no letter of introduction.
Refund Questions
Orders within the refund window should start with the written policy. If the matter falls outside the ordinary rules, write to the Registrar with the order email and a short explanation.
Office Hours
The Registrar replies during civil daylight, usually within one business day, unless the mood has turned.