ORDINATION
The Commit-Lite Tier. All the Ordination, Half the Restraint.
Officially Ordained Asshole - Deluxe
Everything in Base, plus three achievement badges and a full month inside the Inner Circle — stacked for the diploma completist.
Best for first-time buyers, wedding meddlers, and anyone who wants the joke to land before the room has time to recover.
Officially Ordained Asshole - Deluxe
The deluxe package includes diploma, 3 achievement badges, and 1-month Inner Circle membership.
Registrar's Positioning
Best for first-time buyers, wedding meddlers, and anyone who wants the joke to land before the room has time to recover.
Everything in Base, plus three achievement badges and a full month inside the Inner Circle — stacked for the diploma completist.
Personalization
What's Included
- Everything in Base
- 3 achievement badges
- 1-month membership
- Priority support
Why You Want This
Base gets you ordained. Deluxe gets you outfitted.
If you are reading this, Base already made sense to you. Good. But you are also the sort of person who, having bought a suit, will buy the matching shirt, and the cufflinks, and the tie bar, because you understand that the system is only as convincing as its weakest component. Deluxe exists for that instinct.
You receive the full Base certificate — unique ID, registrar seal, verification link, the entire diploma apparatus — plus three achievement badges minted under your name: First-Class Sarcasm, Conspicuous Indifference, and Decisive Eye-Roll. Each badge carries its own micro-credential page. Each page verifies. Each verification page is exactly the kind of thing one shares, deliberately, to the exact wrong person, at the exact right moment.
And then — because credentials without community are a one-act play — you are enrolled for thirty days in the A.U. Inner Circle. Monthly diploma drops. Members-only badge releases. The full faculty-lounge experience, short of the brandy. You try it. You keep it or you don't. Either way, you've already moved up the register.
Per Arduum ad Assholum. The motto is the same. The tier is what separates ordained from equipped.
Fifty-nine dollars is the distance between 'I own a certificate' and 'I have a portfolio.' For anyone who has ever printed a business card for a position they were not yet formally hired into, this one is not a question.
What You Actually Get
- Everything in the Base Ordination — certificate, ID, registry entry, verification URL
- Three branded achievement badges: First-Class Sarcasm, Conspicuous Indifference, Decisive Eye-Roll
- Each badge has its own micro-credential verification page
- Thirty days of Inner Circle access included — no recurring charge unless you opt in
- Priority email support, in case you find something to escalate
- Stackable on the Framed upgrade path if you later commit fully
Common Objections
Do I need Deluxe if I've already bought Base?
You don't need it. You qualify for it. The badges and the Inner Circle preview exist because some ordinands want more surface area to work with. Others want one diploma and silence. Both are valid.
Does the Inner Circle membership auto-renew?
No. The thirty days is included and terminates on its own. If you want to continue, you enroll manually. We will not auto-charge you. A low bar, we know — but one we clear.
Can I pick different badges?
The Deluxe tier ships the three signature badges. If you want custom badges, you want the Framed tier or an Inner Circle subscription — both unlock the badge library.
Are the badges printable too?
Yes. Each badge PDF is 300 DPI, square format, 5" x 5". Hangable as a group, which is how most Deluxe customers display them.
Questions the Registrar Is Tired Of
When does the Inner Circle month start?
At checkout. The clock starts immediately so you can see whether it fits before the thirty days are up.
Do the badges have their own IDs?
Yes — each badge generates a unique micro-credential ID, separate from the diploma ID. Four verifiable artifacts total.
Can I upgrade from Base to Deluxe later?
Yes. Email support with your existing ID and we credit the Base price toward Deluxe. You keep the same diploma ID; we append the badges.
File format for the badges?
Each badge ships as a 300 DPI PDF and a transparent-background PNG, so you can drop them into a signature, a website, or a deliberately passive-aggressive LinkedIn update.
Refunds?
Seven-day window. If you refund Deluxe, the Inner Circle preview terminates the same day.
From the Faculty Lounge
Put all three badges in my email signature. My client replied 'congratulations' without irony. I did not correct them.
Bought it for the Inner Circle preview. Kept it for the Decisive Eye-Roll badge. Priorities clarified.
Seven days to refund, no explanations we will argue with. If any badge or the diploma fails verification, we reissue before you finish the email.
Enter a name on the certificate above to proceed.