MEMBERSHIP
Nine Dollars. Month To Month. Zero Commitment To Defend.
A.U. Inner Circle - Monthly
A monthly pass to the faculty lounge — badges, drops, and the member-only library that people keep hearing about.
Best for repeat offenders who know one certificate rarely solves the entire situation.
A.U. Inner Circle - Monthly
Monthly access to exclusive content, diploma drops, and member-only certificates.
Registrar's Positioning
Best for repeat offenders who know one certificate rarely solves the entire situation.
A monthly pass to the faculty lounge — badges, drops, and the member-only library that people keep hearing about.
What's Included
- Monthly diploma drops
- Exclusive badges
- Member library
- 10% discount
Why You Want This
Monthly is the trial mechanism.
We understand the annual ask is a lot. Nobody should commit to a year of satirical credentialing without testing the room first. Nine dollars a month is the test. It is low enough that you will not talk yourself out of it, and high enough that the content on the other side has to be worth it. (It is.)
Inside, you get access to the Inner Circle library — hundreds of niche credentials, member-only badges, and specialty diplomas that never ship to the public storefront. Every month, a new drop. Most drops are topical — a credential tied to whatever the internet has just collectively decided to get upset about. Some drops are evergreen — specialty badges for micro-disciplines like 'Unsolicited Advice' or 'Tactical Ghosting.' A handful are tier-locked — Framed Ordination holders see drops that monthly members don't. We are transparent about that boundary. The monthly tier gets most of the library, not all of it.
You also get 10% off any merch, degree, or consulting purchase on the storefront. That discount alone pays for a month of membership after a single thirty-five-dollar degree. The math is not subtle.
Month to month. Cancel in one click. We will not make you sit through an exit survey — we will, silently, note your departure in the registry, and your name will remain as an alumnus of the membership for as long as we run it.
Per Arduum ad Assholum: at the monthly tier, the arduum is remembering you pay for it. Nine dollars is approximately the cost of two coffees and a lower tier of dignity — at nine dollars, the membership clears both.
What You Actually Get
- Full Inner Circle library access — hundreds of niche credentials and badges
- Monthly themed drops — new badges and diplomas every calendar month
- 10% storefront discount, stackable on any single-purchase item
- Cancel in one click — no exit survey, no phone tree, no retention offer
- Alumni registry entry preserved even after cancellation
- Member-only verification URL format — distinguishes membership-tier credentials on sight
Common Objections
Will I actually use it every month?
At nine dollars, the question is the wrong frame. Every month you use it is profit; every month you don't is a rounding error. Most members use it for the storefront discount alone and treat the library as the bonus.
Is there a minimum commitment?
One month. Cancel the next day if you want. We will charge you for the month in progress and stop — no proration, no surprise renewals.
What happens to my badges if I cancel?
Every badge earned during your active subscription remains yours. The verification URL continues to resolve. You keep what you earned; you lose access to future drops.
Does the 10% discount apply to the Ph.D.?
It applies to any single-purchase item in the storefront — degrees, ordinations, merch, coaching. Not applicable to other memberships or to workshop bookings.
Questions the Registrar Is Tired Of
How many badges are in the library right now?
Roughly three hundred specialty credentials at last count, with five to ten new drops per month.
Can I upgrade to annual later?
Yes. Upgrade at any time; we prorate the remaining month against the annual price.
What counts as a "themed drop"?
A small set of credentials tied to a theme — for example, 'Tax Season Survivors,' 'Mercury Retrograde Complaints Clerk,' or 'Professional Re-Scheduler.' The themes rotate. We do not repeat.
Is there a Discord?
Members-only. Link arrives with your first drop. The Discord is calmer than you would expect — the audience self-selects.
Refunds on a monthly charge?
We will refund the most recent month if requested within seven days. We will not refund prior months. This is how subscriptions work and we respect your time too much to pretend otherwise.
From the Faculty Lounge
Joined for the storefront discount. Stayed for the 'Tactical Ghosting' badge. I use it more than I should.
Nine dollars a month is less than one oat milk latte. The math made the decision.
Seven-day refund on the most recent charge, one-click cancellation forever, and your alumni entry stays intact regardless.